Looking Back Part 10: The Day My Life Changed Forever

This is Part 10 of the Looking Back series, previous parts are Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, and Part 9.

Two year ago today, I began a journey which will last me a lifetime. A journey of heartbreak and hope, of sadness and joy, but most important - love. And intertwined in that journey is the amazing story of one very special little boy.

It had all started with a dream. A dream of something great which combined several things I love. That dream led to more dreaming and lots of planning. Which led to an amazing day and contact with new friends. Friends who asked a question that when answered yes brought me to the other side of the world where it really all started.

Through a series of events that no man could have orchestrated, God placed me in a country with poverty and and hopelessness like I had never seen before. It opened up my eyes to a whole new world. One morning (two years ago today) while visiting the baby orphanage I met the love of my life. I didn't know it then, but he was to change my life forever.

Though it sounds romantic, this was no cute teenage boy I fell in love with. Nope, far from it! He was just a a baby, almost 3 years old. And thanks to the ridiculous clothes he was wearing, I thought he was a she and didn't find out until afterwards that I was wrong!

That sweet little boy took my hand and led the way. I followed because he had already captured my heart and I'm pretty sure he had mesmerized me by that point! :) I led him over to some play equipment and didn't have kids swarming all over it. I could tell he needed some one on one attention and I was happy to give it! We played on the slide for quite awhile, both of us loving every second.

Unfortunately, he had me too far under his spell to think to take more than 4 pictures! My memory is clouded now, but I do remember that he wasn't happy to leave me when he had to go nor was I happy to leave him! I knew he needed (and still needs!!) his mommy to come get him ASAP! He was broken and aching from being alone, and yes, despite the fact he was two, I could tell his heart was ripped apart. I could hardly bear to see him go back to the life we both hated.

This is Sandy, one of my team members, not a nanny

I lost it on the way out of the orphanage and was in almost a trance the rest of the day. I'm fairly certain I horrible dreams about him and the others that night. Either way, I slept horribly. He needed someone, and since there was no one else, he needed me! And I had sent him back to his grouppa, alone.

I remember lying in bed that night just crying my heart out because he and so many others had to spend the night alone. And I had to leave them there. I know I wouldn't have gotten very far, but I regret at least trying to stay there with him a little longer. Despite my hopes, we didn't get to go back to the orphanage on during the rest of the trip.

Who would have thought that a half hour with a little boy I had never met before would change the course of my life forever? God did before the earth was even created. :)


Because my heart was opened up the the plight the orphan through him, I started this blog advocating for other orphans and families bringing them home.

As I sat here tonight writing this, my heart was broken yet again for "my" sweet boy. Because this post captures my time with him better than any post I have written before, all the tears it took to write this post are worth it.

I dream of the day he will know what it means to have a family, even though that is not possible right now. And for now, though I miss him immensely, and my heart is broken for him, I will continue to pray God will move mountains on his behalf to give him a family, and be thankful that he changed my life for the better.

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As you've probably figured out, sweet boy is my little Logan..

Today is also the 7 month anniversary of the day I found out that Logan no longer had a family, and then that he was not ever going to be adoptable. 

Interesting that I met him on Thursday, July 15, 2010, and I found the above out on Thursday, December 15, 2011. Those two days are exactly  17 months apart. Even the same day of the week! 

Coincidence? Nope. But for sure a God-incidence.

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Here are some more photos from the baby house. I went through and choose some, and turns out I choose 15 pictures! 15 must be my number! :)

Andriy, who also became unadoptable the same time as Logan

Liza and I

Brody lying there, with Ryan looking up at me

Marci and Ryan

Brooke and Evelyn - Evelyn is now home

Heading back inside

Updates...

Here are some updates from my last post in no particular order:

~First off, I need to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to everyone of of you who has been praying!! Yours prayers are making a huge difference, and we can feel them! THANK YOU!!

And also, THANK YOU for sharing my last post and spreading the prayer request! The stats of my last post have skyrocketed


~Here is an update from Natalie today about what she learned about the priest (green is from her, black is from me)-
This is what I learned today:

• He is a good man who wants to help the children.
• These children will NOT live their entire lives in orphanages, they will be adopted by families he knows personally and trusts to take good care of the children.
• He is a very patriotic man. He feels these children were born here for a reason, and he wants families here to adopt them.
• Nothing changes after a year. There is no "government money that runs out after a year". He would be compensated for having the children in his care until they are 18, but he is having them adopted into good families here instead. (As of right now, also meaning no adoption after one year.) 
• No family coming here to adopt a child is ever guaranteed that child. There are MANY children still waiting for adoptive parents. (Until you have passed the ten day wait there is no guarantee you will be bale to bring the child you cam over to adopt home. Committing through RR means nothing (no offence Michelle!) besides that anyone looking at RR knows you are trying to get that child. No child is guaranteed to a family still in process. Yes, each of the families who have lost children knew this, but that doesn't stop the hurt of losing a child you thought was going to be yours, or in my case thinking a child you love is going to come home and losing that hope.)
• He is not taking the bedridden children because he does not have the capability to care for them adequately, and if he were to do so they would be the only children he would be able to help. (Which would be why no one from orphanage 7 - Ryan and Maxim's orphanage is gone.)

~Andriy has indeed been taken.. :'( Please be in prayer for the Burlingham's.

Andriy

~But PRAISE GOD!! No one else from Andriy's orphanage, or Ryan and Maxim's orphanage has been taken!

~PLEASE continue to pray for and encourage the other families who have lost little ones through this, specifically my dear friend Jaclyn, and the W family (adopting Molly).

~I have also decided that I will be taking a break from blogging here aside from updating on this situation and a few other things. Partly because I want to give my heart a little more time to heal, and also because I need to get all my Christmas orders and Christmas presents done before this weekend! :) Trust me, this will not be the last of me! ;)~Something else I was going to include in my last post was that it was my 200th post. I found that significant because I started this blog because Logan propelled me into the world of orphan advocating, and my last post was kind of the end of his story. Logan has truely shown me what it means to love, and opened up my heart to the plight of the orphan. More on that to come...

~This thing called healing is hard, and it's taking awhile, but I am definitively the healing hand of God at work in many lives, including mine!

Thank you for your prayers again!!

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For those new visitors to my blog, I post Lyla (Lilianna on RR)'s picture at the end of every post, and I will be until she find a family!!! :)

hardest post I have ever had to write

I don't even know how to start. The past two days have been a horrific nightmare. I have so much I want to share, and so much more swirling around in my head that can't be shared publicly.

Note: Logan is the little the boy who is plastered all over my header who I met, held, and played with last summer on a mission trip. He has stolen my heart, and is the one who propelled me into the world of orphan advocating.

Logan and me - Summer 2010

Let's start at the beginning. Yesterday morning, I found out that the family who was working to adopt Logan will no longer be able to adopt him at this time because of his mama's medical condition. That was hard news to hear. Very hard.

I did a lot of praying, reading my bible, and journaling (apparently 'journaling' is not a word - nothing is going right today!). Many tears were shed. I was hurting, for Logan's family who was (and still is) grieving, and for Logan. I lost it at youth group last night when asked what the down of my week was. I was up until late planning ways a family could be found for him.

I think I've mentioned this before, but as a refresher and for my new readers: Logan is NOT currently available for adoption. That's why you will not find him on Reece's Rainbow. In his country there is a list. A list of special needs. It is very very short, and there are not many diagnosis's on it. Down Syndrome is on it, HIV+ is not. Logan has Fetal Alcohal Syndrome (FAS), which is NOT on the list. Children under 5 that DO NOT have a special need that is on the list are not available for adoption. Since FAS, isn't on the list Logan won't be available until he is 5, and he will not be 5 until October 2012. That doesn't mean a family couldn't still be found for him, since they would most likely not complete the process before his 5th birthday, and hence my reason to find another family for him.

That's a brief summary of yesterday, and it would have been much longer if I would have written it last night. I woke up this morning with a refreshed spirit, and hope that today would be better. Oh how wrong I was.

There are many thing I want to share but can't be shared on a public blog, so I am restraining myself to what others have already posted.

Today came the news that Logan was taken by a priest to an Orthodox orphanage the priest is head of. The kids are well taken care of there, and there are many more care givers so kids who go there will get more one on one attention.

Awesome right? What am I so upset about? I'm upset about the catch. Once the priest comes to get children and brings them there, they are no longer available to be adopted!

Insert many thousands tears and the sound of  any hearts breaking here, mine included.

The priest says that he will allow adoptions after a child has been with him for one year. So if that is the case, Logan still can be adopted a few months after his birthday. But, there have never been any adoptions from this orphanage. This priest is very anti-American, so we are putting no faith in the promise of after one year.

So all this to say, at this point Logan will never be available for adoption. Never know the love of a FAMILY!!! Yes, he will receive more care and attention there, but nothing like the care and attention of a family.

But wait, it gets worse. Logan is not the only one affected by this. This priest has taken hundreds of kids from all over the country. We do not know who all exactly yet, or how many RR children are there with him,  but I do know of a few that went with him. Molly/Ovalyn/Aliza went with him.

Molly

Molly also had a family working to bring her home. They were bringing home another girl two. I posted about the girls and their family for Faithful Friday before, and Molly for Waiting Wednesday. And now she too, will grow up without the love of a FAMILY.

Kasey, who I was going to post about yesterday for WW is also gone, along with a little girl Natalie knows as Johanna. There are also rumors, but no conformation yet, that blind Andriy is gone/will be going as well. We will find out in the next few days if Ryan and Maxim are gone too. There were MANY MANY children taken, and this is just in one city.

Update 12/16/11 - Andriy was, sadly taken as well. ;( But no one else at Andriy's orphanage was, and no one at Ryan and Maxim's orphanage is gone!!! PRAISE GOD!!

Kasey, with I believe Johanna in the background??

Andriy

Ryan

Maxim

Because Logan's family will no longer be adopting him I can announce who they are. None other than my dear friend Jaclyn and her beautiful family! You can visit their blog HERE. Please leave them a note of encouragement.

Jaclyn and her family

So that brings me to prayer requests. I'm just going to copy what Natalie said since she said it so well: I ask for prayers for all those involved. The 50 (or at least I've been told there are 50) children who may be quite scared, the caregivers who will comfort them, the families waiting in limbo, those who already know their kids were transferred, the prayer warriors and missionaries who wanted them to be adopted so badly, and I also pray for my day tomorrow. I feel selfish doing so, but I need to keep it together. If you could pray for strength, comfort, and peace for me as I receive the news of who is still here and who is not I would appreciate that immensely.
And add one more thing - that this priest's heart and the heart of everyone else involved would change so these children, Logan included are able to be adopted. Thank you!

I am hanging on to the promises made in John 14:18 and Jeremiah 29:11 made to all of us, these precious children included.

John 14:18 - "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

And lastly I want to share a song which brought comfort to me tonight.

There WILL be day with no more tears, and no more sorrows, when we will see Jesus, our Lord and savior, face to face. And I will once again get to hold the boy I love soo very much - Logan.

Thank you for your prayer for everyone at this difficult time!!! If you have any questions, please email me at forhisgloryhandiwork (at) gmail (dot) com.

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I wonder.... was Lyla affected as well??? Oh, how I pray not!!!

For those new visitors to my blog, I post Lyla (Lilianna on RR)'s picture at the end of every post, and I will be until she find a family!!!

Who wants to see Andrea G get pied?!?!

In a lot of my WW posts of the kids in (7), (63), and (14), I've included a post Andrea G wrote. She has spent lots of time in the past year over in EE orphanages! She is the one who got Logan listed, and took LOTS of pictures of him like the ones with her below!

Wouldn't she look great with a pie in her face? ;) You get the chance to make that happen! Remember sweet Andriy?

My posts about his family for Faithful Friday are here. You can help bring him home AND get Andrea pied in the face!

But before Andrea gets pied we have several more people we need to pie! When the chip-in below gets to...

• $3500 - Gretchen Thibault gets pied!
• $5000 - Melissa Lorenz (here!) and Catherine Ferrone (here!) get pied!
• $6000 - Julia Nalle (here!) gets pied!
• $7000 - Andriy's new mama and Andrea G get pied!!

(In parentheses is where I've posted about their kiddos! :))

To get all the details go here - Pie List. And stay tuned and follow that blog because I just might get in on the fun!! ;) If you donate before October 10th, you can also get in on the Ipad 2 Giveaway!

SO LET'S BRING ANDRIY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Y'all know I would get pied for her too!

Faithful Friday - The Burlingham Family

Update: Andriy is no longer available for adoption because has been taken by a priest in his country. Please read about that here - http://matthew18vs14.blogspot.com/2011/12/hardest-post-i-have-ever-had-to-write.html

I know I have posted about this family before, but they deserve another post! So again, meet the Burlingham Family!

And the sweet little boy they are trying to bring home -

To read my other post about them, go here. 

But they are having an unbelievably hard time fundraising to bring him home, and they are having and unbelievably AWESOME fundraiser to help bring him home! So when you enter their giveaway, it all adds up and Andriy gets to come home. So come on world, let's rally around this precious family and bring Andriy home!!! Here are the things you have the chance of winning when you donate!

My silly blog cut the picture off, click on it to see everything!

18 items

$5 = 1 chance

$10 = 3 chances

$25 = 10 chances

$50 = 30 chances

The amount to raise on their chip-in is how much they need to be fully funded - $16,400

They also have some other awesome fundraisers going on like the Leaf Your Mark fundraiser (it's such a cute  idea!! They have 120 thumbprints left!!), a Puzzle fundraiser (it's a beautiful puzzle! They have 446 pieces left!!), a T-shirt fundraiser (I have one, and it's absolutely AWESOME!)! It's all at their blog - Just One more 4 us!?, so go check it out!!!

Ready, Set, Go!!!!! Let's bring Andriy HOME!

Faithful Friday - The Burlingham Family

Update: Andriy is no longer available for adoption because has been taken by a priest in his country. Please read about that here - http://matthew18vs14.blogspot.com/2011/12/hardest-post-i-have-ever-had-to-write.html

I did do a Faithful Friday post this past Tues, but I'm really behind, so this Friday, meet one of the many families who have stepped out in faith, the Burlingham's!

They are bringing home a sweet boy named Andriy:

ANDRIY for the Burlingham family–Charlotte, NC

Amanda and David have been married 11 years. They grew up together since the age of 7. David owns his own restaurant and Amanda is a stay-at-home mom. They  have two daughters and one son. Kyah 8, Aiden 5, and Braya 2. They are excited to welcome their second son into ther family. Andriy will be their first child through adoption. Thanks to a wonderful woman named Andrea G. for introducing them to Andriy. They always knew adoption was in their future and can't wait to start this journey with you! They want to thank you for your support!! 

5/31/11–COMPILING DOSSIER

Follow the Burlingham family's adoption journey on their blog atwww.justonemore4us.blogspot.com

$910.00 is available towards the cost of my adoption!

I have a very special tie to this family. I have never met them, and I have only emailed with Amanda a couple times, but they are still special to me! Why? Because of the precious little boy they are bring home. Remember when I did my Waiting Wednesday posts about Logan, Ryan, and Brody, and my 'Mazing Monday post about Liza, I said that I was at an orphanage in a certian EE country last year. I got to play with several of the RR kids (though I didn't know it at the time or I would have taken boatloads more pictures!), including Liza, Logan, one of the members on our team held Ryan, and Andriy! When we saw him, he was in a little swing, and my dad would tickle his legs and he would giggle. Below are the only picture I took of him.

They just recently had a dot fundraiser where you had to buy dots to uncover the new pictures of him, and this is the video they unveiled at the end.

I have to admit, I cried while watching it, and seeing my dear friend Max, and sweet little Victoria didn't help. :)

But this family desperately needs help just as much prayerfully as financially! They are doing each step in this process dollar by dollar with none to spare. But even if you can't support financially, please stop by her blog (above) and leave Amanda some encouragement! She is such an amazing person, and is doing all she can to get her boy home. But sadly, she can't do it by herself. Please stop by their blog or FSP and show them some LOVE! It would mean soo much to her, and to me too! Thank you in advance!!