hardest post I have ever had to write

I don't even know how to start. The past two days have been a horrific nightmare. I have so much I want to share, and so much more swirling around in my head that can't be shared publicly.

Note: Logan is the little the boy who is plastered all over my header who I met, held, and played with last summer on a mission trip. He has stolen my heart, and is the one who propelled me into the world of orphan advocating.

Logan and me - Summer 2010

Let's start at the beginning. Yesterday morning, I found out that the family who was working to adopt Logan will no longer be able to adopt him at this time because of his mama's medical condition. That was hard news to hear. Very hard.

I did a lot of praying, reading my bible, and journaling (apparently 'journaling' is not a word - nothing is going right today!). Many tears were shed. I was hurting, for Logan's family who was (and still is) grieving, and for Logan. I lost it at youth group last night when asked what the down of my week was. I was up until late planning ways a family could be found for him.

I think I've mentioned this before, but as a refresher and for my new readers: Logan is NOT currently available for adoption. That's why you will not find him on Reece's Rainbow. In his country there is a list. A list of special needs. It is very very short, and there are not many diagnosis's on it. Down Syndrome is on it, HIV+ is not. Logan has Fetal Alcohal Syndrome (FAS), which is NOT on the list. Children under 5 that DO NOT have a special need that is on the list are not available for adoption. Since FAS, isn't on the list Logan won't be available until he is 5, and he will not be 5 until October 2012. That doesn't mean a family couldn't still be found for him, since they would most likely not complete the process before his 5th birthday, and hence my reason to find another family for him.

That's a brief summary of yesterday, and it would have been much longer if I would have written it last night. I woke up this morning with a refreshed spirit, and hope that today would be better. Oh how wrong I was.

There are many thing I want to share but can't be shared on a public blog, so I am restraining myself to what others have already posted.

Today came the news that Logan was taken by a priest to an Orthodox orphanage the priest is head of. The kids are well taken care of there, and there are many more care givers so kids who go there will get more one on one attention.

Awesome right? What am I so upset about? I'm upset about the catch. Once the priest comes to get children and brings them there, they are no longer available to be adopted!

Insert many thousands tears and the sound of  any hearts breaking here, mine included.

The priest says that he will allow adoptions after a child has been with him for one year. So if that is the case, Logan still can be adopted a few months after his birthday. But, there have never been any adoptions from this orphanage. This priest is very anti-American, so we are putting no faith in the promise of after one year.

So all this to say, at this point Logan will never be available for adoption. Never know the love of a FAMILY!!! Yes, he will receive more care and attention there, but nothing like the care and attention of a family.

But wait, it gets worse. Logan is not the only one affected by this. This priest has taken hundreds of kids from all over the country. We do not know who all exactly yet, or how many RR children are there with him,  but I do know of a few that went with him. Molly/Ovalyn/Aliza went with him.

Molly

Molly also had a family working to bring her home. They were bringing home another girl two. I posted about the girls and their family for Faithful Friday before, and Molly for Waiting Wednesday. And now she too, will grow up without the love of a FAMILY.

Kasey, who I was going to post about yesterday for WW is also gone, along with a little girl Natalie knows as Johanna. There are also rumors, but no conformation yet, that blind Andriy is gone/will be going as well. We will find out in the next few days if Ryan and Maxim are gone too. There were MANY MANY children taken, and this is just in one city.

Update 12/16/11 - Andriy was, sadly taken as well. ;( But no one else at Andriy's orphanage was, and no one at Ryan and Maxim's orphanage is gone!!! PRAISE GOD!!

Kasey, with I believe Johanna in the background??

Andriy

Ryan

Maxim

Because Logan's family will no longer be adopting him I can announce who they are. None other than my dear friend Jaclyn and her beautiful family! You can visit their blog HERE. Please leave them a note of encouragement.

Jaclyn and her family

So that brings me to prayer requests. I'm just going to copy what Natalie said since she said it so well: I ask for prayers for all those involved. The 50 (or at least I've been told there are 50) children who may be quite scared, the caregivers who will comfort them, the families waiting in limbo, those who already know their kids were transferred, the prayer warriors and missionaries who wanted them to be adopted so badly, and I also pray for my day tomorrow. I feel selfish doing so, but I need to keep it together. If you could pray for strength, comfort, and peace for me as I receive the news of who is still here and who is not I would appreciate that immensely.
And add one more thing - that this priest's heart and the heart of everyone else involved would change so these children, Logan included are able to be adopted. Thank you!

I am hanging on to the promises made in John 14:18 and Jeremiah 29:11 made to all of us, these precious children included.

John 14:18 - "I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

And lastly I want to share a song which brought comfort to me tonight.

There WILL be day with no more tears, and no more sorrows, when we will see Jesus, our Lord and savior, face to face. And I will once again get to hold the boy I love soo very much - Logan.

Thank you for your prayer for everyone at this difficult time!!! If you have any questions, please email me at forhisgloryhandiwork (at) gmail (dot) com.

--------------
I wonder.... was Lyla affected as well??? Oh, how I pray not!!!

For those new visitors to my blog, I post Lyla (Lilianna on RR)'s picture at the end of every post, and I will be until she find a family!!!